LIght Relief: Humorous Moments from the Phone Hacking Trial

My compendious compiler Jon Lippitt tagged several of my tweets under ‘humorous’: not all these make sense (you had to be here) but as the trial heads to the serious part of sentencing tomorrow. time for some light relief.

Wednesday 30 October 2013
The Prosecution Opening Statement
The Prosecution Case on Phone Hacking
“I’m sorry if it’s tedious…” Edis on introductory process. Justice Saunders “I never intended or implied it was” 
Tuesday 12 November 2013
Timeline – Lord Frederick Windsor
Giving evidence – Operation Weeting Detective
CORRECTION: it was “Everyone’s Talking at Me” by Harry Nilsson from Midnight Cowboy that interrupted the trial, Saunders QC for C Brooks 
Wednesday 13 November 2013
Timeline – Calum Best and Laura Hogan
Counsel for Andy Coulson cross examines Calum Best
Langdale: “Appearances in the paper can lead to TV appearance and therefore earning money… running into thousands rather than hundreds”
Langdale: “You are someone who tended to spend what money you had rather than investing it?” Best: “You could say that.” Laughter
The NOTW article is about Calum’s Best’s sexual encounter the night before the memorial service with Lorna Hogan
16th April 2006 NOTW printed ‘I’m Having Calum Best’s Baby’ by Chris Tate about Hogan’s pregnancy.
Justice Saunders to Langdale: “I don’t think you’ll get a job as Headline writer at NOTW. Langdale: “Thank goodness for that.” 
Timeline – Jude Law, Sienna Miller and Jade Schmidt
Counsel for Rebekah Brooks cross examines DC Hargreaves
Saunders: “No more live witnesses this afternoon, that’s right?” Bryant Heron: “Police officers” Saunders: “Not suggesting they’re not alive 
Wednesday 20 November 2013
Witness – Barney Monahan (qualified solicitor and legal advisor to the NOTW)
Counsel for Ian Edmondson cross examines Barney Monahan
“The importance of the lawyer cannot be overstated,” says Bennett Jenkins. “Coming from a lawyer….” jokes Justice Saunders #hackingtrial 
Tuesday 26 November 2013
Witness – Jo Manoukian
Mr Justice Sauders: “Very modest.”
Jo Manoukian confirms lunch took place in private and intimate part of the house, the family room, around a modest style table
Saunders causes some hilarity in court in reference to Jo Manoukian’s eight seater dinner table “Very modest” 
Thursday 5 December 2013
Witness – Operation Elveden Detective DC Briddon
Prosecution Counsel questions DC Briddon
Saunders apologises “for waking everyone up” as he queries missing page 
Monday 9 December 2013
Witness – Brigadier John Donnelly (Director of Army Personnel Services)
Counsel for Rebekah Brooks cross examines Brigadier Donnelly
“I understand the difference between the public interest and the interest to the public,” says Connelly. Saunders replies… 1/2 
Saunders to Brigadier Donnelly: “I wish you would explain it to me sometime.” Laughter from court 
Tuesday 10 December 2013
Timeline – Jordan-Barber
Counsel for Rebekah Brooks cross examines DC Briddon
Laidlaw refers Justice Saunders’ statement the Birmingham Post is a published PM. “I wouldn’t want you to rely on me,” says Saunders 
Witness – Michelle Light (Head of telephony at the Royal Household)
Counsel for Clive Goodman cross examines Michelle Light
Loosely bound, copies of the ITD are given to judge, witness and jury on request of Goodman’s counsel, Mr Spens
Saunders points out entries in the directories have some interesting titles such as ‘The Royal Pastry’ 
Witness – Michael Godfrey (Former Metropolitan Police Officer)
Counsel for Clive Goodman cross examines Michael Godfrey
Godfrey when asked about Green Books. “There were many Green books. Sorry I didn’t mean to be facetious.” “Well you managed!” jokes Saunders
Thursday 19 December 2013
The Prosecution Case Continues
Some Filing work for the Jury
Rebecca Chalkley, counsel for the crown, is now handing out dividers to the jury and new schedules
Saunders asks jury: “Are you happy?” Slight pause “Not generally…. But with what you’ve just done” Laughter in court 
Prosecution Evidence on Arrests
Rebekah Brooks Prepared Statement on Misconduct
Saunders explains trial is running between 2 or 3 weeks behind but like trains hope to catch up 
“If you feel like being ill this winter, this break might be a good time, so avail yourself of that,” Saunders says to Jury before Christmas 
Monday 6 January 2014
The Prosecution Case Continues
The Trial Resumes after the Christmas Break
The jury return to court 12 after a two week break from #hackingtrial Wonder if they followed Justice Saunders suggestion before Christmas
Saunders said back before the break: “if you decided to be ill, now would be a good time to avail yourself” – or words to that effect 
Tuesday 7 January 2014
The Prosecution Case Continues
Further Prosecution questions to Nick Mays
“Ten minute break while we find the next witness,” says Saunders to Jury at Court 12
Wednesday 8 January 2014
Witness – Gary Keegan (Husband of Deborah Keegan – PA to Rebekah Brooks)
Counsel for Cheryl Carter cross examines Gary Keegan
Keegan is shown the NI archive boxes and confirms they were the ones he picked up in 2011. He can’t remember returning the trolley
Of Keegan’s failure to return the trolley to archives, Justice Saunders jokes “We’ll need a special verdict on that.” 
Thursday 9 January 2014
Witness – Deborah Keegan (Former Personal Assistant to Rebekah Brooks)
Counsel for Rebekah Brooks cross examines Deborah Keegan
Saunders asks Laidlaw if he minds further questions to Keegan: “I might mind, my lord, but I wouldn’t dream of stopping you.” Laughter
Laidlaw hands out two kinds of notebooks: a reporter’s notebook: roughly A5, and a larger A4 foolscap notebook
Laidlaw then suggests to Keegan that Brooks did not use either of those kind of notebooks “habitually”.
“I think we feel a question coming on?” suggests Saunders to Laidlaw. 
Witness – Jane Viner (Facilities Manager at News International)
Prosecution Counsel questions Jane Viner
“If you’ve got any spare time can you fix the air condition here?” jokes Saunders to Viner. 
Monday 13 January 2014
Witness – Jane Viner (Facilities Manager at News International)
Counsel for Mark Hanna cross examines Jane Viner
William Clegg, counsel for Hanna, makes his first appearance: “This is my first question… so my questioning skills may be a little rusty”
. . . .
“The rust isn’t showing too much at the moment,” says Saunders of Clegg’s re-examination of Jane Viner, head of facilities at NI 
Wednesday 15 January 2014
Witness – Dave Cutts (Mobile phone network expert witness)
Counsel for Mark Hanna cross examines Dave Cutts
Clegg for Hanna asks about 9.20 a.m. call in Jubilee Barn; “Another mistake?” Saunders: “Just say, yes.” 
Witness – Fernando Nascimento (Cleaner at Chelsea Harbour)
Prosecution Counsel questions Fernando Nascimento through an interpreter
Bryant Heron shows Nascimento’s statement from 18/07/11 and asks him if his memory would have been fresher then. He agrees.
Bryant Heron asks the judge for leave to refer Nascimento to his original statement: interpreter locates Portuguese version
Nascimento is asked if the statement refreshes his memory which bag he opened. No. “That was worth it,” jokes Saunders. 
Counsel for Charlie Brooks cross examines Fernando Nascimento
“I don’t understand English,” says Nascimento. “There wasn’t much writing on the magazine,” says Saunders. 
Monday 20 January 2014
Witness – Glen Jagger (Security Operations Manager for News International)
Counsel for Mark Hanna cross examines Glen Jagger
One letter in blue ink, suggests Clegg, is clearly unhinged. “If you write in blue ink, that means you’re a nutter?” asks Saunders.
Witness – Sgt Robert McDonald (Attended Chelsea Harbour after Bin Bag find)
Prosecution Counsel questions Sgt McDonald
The police officer identifies the laptop bag “very like the one in the picture” jokes Justice Saunders. 
Witness – DC Alan Pritchard (Operation Weeting Detective)
Counsel for Mark Hanna cross examines DC Alan Pritchard
Bryant Heron says “I’ve run out of evidence slightly”: “We forgive you,” replies Justice Saunders at the #hackingtrial. 
Wednesday 22 January 2014
The Prosecution Case Continues
Fire – False Alarm
“You’ll be happy to know we worked through the non-fire,” Justice Saunders tells the jury. DC Alan Pritchard recalled to witness box. 
Witness – DS John Massey (Operation Sasha Detective)
Counsel for Rebekah Brooks cross examines DS Massey
Laidlaw points to a crate pushed into doors of Court 12 by Kingsley Napley staff: 8 or so of those big file boxes given to Brooks’ lawyers
Laidlaw points to Ms Connell “a lady dressed in black” Saunders points out “they’re all dressed in black”. Laughter. 
Thursday 23 January 2014
Witness – DS Hayley Broom (Operation Sasha Detective)
Counsel for Charlie Brooks cross examines DS Hayley Broom
“When you think you drop your voice,” says Justice Saunders to DS Broom: “Can you think more loudly?” DS Broom laughs and says she will
Friday 24 January 2014
Witness – Tajvinder Singh Atwal (Forensic Computer Analyst)
Prosecution Counsel questions Tajvinder Singh Atwal
“They’re you’re best friends,” jokes Saunders of Computer expert Atwal’s enthusiastic description of the information contained in routers. 
Wednesday 29 January 2014
The Prosecution Case Continues
Counsel for Andy Coulson questions Evans on Hacking
Hard copies instantly handed to Evans and jury. Saunders jokes “We would have finished the trial if things had appeared as quickly as that”
Thursday 30 January 2014
The Prosecution Case Continues
Evans says he wanted to get caught
“I put it to you that nothing of any significance happened that Tuesday,” says Langdale. “Bring it on,” says Evans.
“Let’s bring it on at five past two,” says Saunders. 
Monday 3 February 2014
Witness – Dan Evans returns to the stand
Counsel for Andy Coulson has more cross examination for Dan Evans
[PJ] “Eva Green played Vespa Lind and she was excellent in the role,” says Evans. “We don’t need a film critique, “says Saunders. 
Thursday 20 February 2014
Rebekah Brooks Career at News Group Newspapers
Rebekah Brooks joins News Group
On redactions “They don’t want you to know how much you were paid in 1989,” jokes Justice Saunders. Brooks says “Probably not v much” 
Rebekah Brooks as Editor of the News of the World
Rebekah Brooks appointed Editor of the News of the World
“I’m sure someone else can take over perfectly adequately,” jokes Saunders when Laidlaw’s phone goes off in court 12. Laughter.
Laidlaw explains what will happen tomorrow: Justice Saunders says “You can leave it as a suprise. We don’t need the advance billing.” 
Friday 21 February 2014
Rebekah Brooks questioned on Sarah’s Law
Brooks explains the history of the Sarah’s Law Campaign
“Not all judges” jokes Brooks back to Justice Saunders about her hard hitting criticism of judges in NOTW editorial
Rebekah Brooks Contract and Responsibilities at News of the World
More questions on Glen Mulcaire
“For those not reading the document the mind must boggle,” jokes Justice Saunders of some NOTW headline involving the Pope. 
More Aspects of Brooks Editorship
More detail on Budgets
“Mr Mahmoud is he still in operation,” asks Saunders. “Should we be looking for a Fake Sheikh somewhere?” Brooks says yes. 
Tuesday 25 February 2014
Rebekah Brooks question on the Hacking of Milly Dowlers Phone
Shocked at the hacking of Milly Dowlers phone
“You’re both doing fine,” says Justice Saunders in response to Brooks’ apology for not being clear. 
Run through of the Milly Dowler Timeline
“Well spotted again,” says Justice Saunders of misattributed page noticed by the jury at the #hackingtrail
Wednesday 26 February 2014
Rebekah Brooks Defence Continues on Count 1 – Phone Hacking
David Blunkett story
“Hopefully we’ll be able to recycle everything and turn them into trees again,” says Justice Saunders of mounting bundles at #hackingtrial 
Thursday 27 February 2014
Rebekah Brooks Defence Continues on Count 5 – Illegal Payments
Court matters and more evidence provided to Jury
A rustling of paper as a new tab is inserted by Jonathan Laidlaw, QC, counsel for Brooks, into the jury bundle
“I shouldn’t bother to tidy up,” says Justice Saunders of these bundles: “Forlorn hope”
“This is tempting providence but it’s remarkable no water has been knocked over yet” says Saunders. “Usually the judge who knocks over water 
Books Questioned on her Editorship of The Sun
Brooks admits mistakes
“You asked me to think of all the things I got wrong,” says Brooks. “Odd thing to ask of a client,” says Saunders. “Just giving balance” 
Count 5 – Conspiracy to commit misconduct in a public office
Payments to MOD Offocials
Laidlaw says 34 articles in Sun till 13/11/06 Jordan-Barber sourced piece about intelligence officer. Brooks was off to Australia.
“I’m beginning to get the impression you were never there,” jokes Justice Saunders.
“What would we have done without post-its, and junior barristers,” says Saunders of a note about Jordan-Barber’s maternity leave. 
Tuesday 4 March 2014
Rebekah Brooks Cross Examined by other Defence Councel
Brooks questioned by Jonathan Caplan QC QC – Counsel for Stuart Kuttner
Previous career in Evening News etc. cited. Brooks says she’s known Kuttner since 1990 “mutual respect for each other…”
“He’s more than old enough to be your father,” says Caplan. “Please let’s not go there,” says Justice Saunders. 
Monday 10 March 2014
Rebekah Brooks Cross Examination continues on Count 5 – Illegal Payments
Prince William Bond Girl picture
Saunders explains why he’s amused: “I’m just smiling about twice wearing Bikini” 
Tuesday 25 March 2014
Defendant Cheryl Carter takes the Witness Stand
Carter becomes Brook’s PA
“Do you want an Oscar for this?” jokes Saunders of Burke’s mock surprise over Ross Kemp’s fame.
Brooks becomes CEO of News International
Carter and her counsel Burke fill a sample archive box with her beauty clippings; “Here’s one I prepared earlier” jokes Justice Saunders
“I think this going to live on in my nightmares,” says Justice Saunders of the Kafkaesque NI filing system.
Wednesday 26 March 2014
Cheryl Carter’s Defence Continues
Carter’s Last Day
Carter apologises and laughs for nearly falling off her chair in the witness box. “I’m composed now” 
Friday 28 March 2014
The Defence of Charlie Brooks Begins
Charlie Brooks questioned on his background
Justice Saunders intervenes in cryotherapy explanation: “I’m really sorry to stop you… but did it work” Charlie Brooks says “No” 
Closure of the News of the World
Laidlaw intervenes saying the clock for the recording of the trial has stopped. Justice Saunders says plenty of people keeping record
Tuesday 1 April 2014
The Cross Examination of Charlie Brooks by the Crown Continues
The events of the day of Rebekah Brooks arrest
Charlie can’t remember how long at lawyers “I’ll go with his Lordship and say half an hour”. Saunders: “I’m going to regret saying anything”
“You credit me with too much thought” says Charlie to Justice Saunders about getting his briefcases back on Sunday 17/07/11
The Defence of Mark Hanna Begins
Security Activity of July 2011
“Some mention of football to come later” says Clegg. “Look forward to that,” says Justice Saunders. Five minute break.
Friday 4 April 2014
Mark Hanna’s Defence continues with Character Witnesses
Marva Ingram Cross Examined by the Prosecution
“I’m not allowed to lead you obviously,” says Clegg. “You’re getting the hang of the rules” jokes Justice Saunders. 
Monday 7 April 2014
Defence Witnesses for Mark Hanna
The Prosecution cross-examine Will Smith
Through his cross examination, Anthony Edis establishes it took 10 mins to prepare Pizza. Saunders says “It will never be the same for me”
Tuesday 8 April 2014
Defence Admissions for Mark Hanna
Counsel for Hanna reads admissions
Admissions concede that Jorsling ordered a pizza took 606 sec to cook (Clegg erroneously said 6006 secs – Saunders said “overcooked”) 
Wednesday 16 April 2014
The Defence of Andy Coulson Continues
Coulson questioned on Charles Clarke
“I don’t want anyone to think I’m shirking” jokes Saunders before the ten minute break. 
Wednesday 23 April 2014
The Defence of Andy Coulson Continues
Taped conversations between Coulson and Goodman
Justice Saunders points out, to some hilarity in court, William Clegg QC has fallen off his chair. 
Monday 28 April 2014
The Cross-Examination of Andy Coulson Continues
The Charles Clarke Story
Justice Saunders was about to adjourn. But a juror reminds him today we’re sitting till 5pm 
Tuesday 29 April 2014
Further Cross-Examination of Andy Coulson
Coulson’s phone rings in the dock
Saunders says “you could stamp on it.” Brooks jokes “It’s an iPhone I can’t work it” – court erupts in laughter (you had to be there) 
BREAKING: Justice Saunders suggesting ‘stamping’ on a ringing phone. Brooks jokes: “It’s an iPhone I can’t work it” #hackingtrial 
Wednesday 30 April 2014
Wednesday 7 May 2014
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